Monthly Archives: June 2012

Life changes, placing one foot in front of the other.

I went running today!

This means two things.

1. I’m starting to work out again.

2. I’m getting my life back in order.

Now my running is far from perfect, but it’s a start. I need to start small and work my way up.

What does this have to do with my passion?

Trying something new and sticking with it!

Today I got over my embarrassment about going for a run all by myself. I felt embarrassed, but did it anyway.

I should get over my fear of failure and start working toward finding my passion.

Small steps, that’s how big changes are achieved.

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Posted by on June 28, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Apology not accepted.

I’m publishing on a weird day, I know.

Truth is, I skipped another week. For some reason I’m completely out of it. And with that I mean out of my regular routine, out of working on what matters to me, out of motivation, out of inspiration.

A kitten is a lot of work, sure, but that’s not the main problem anymore.

My journey isn’t on the top of my priority list, then again many important items aren’t.

My two main hobbies are writing and drawing. Sometimes I feel writing comes first, sometimes drawing.
Yesterday I read some advice on drawing. “If you want to get better, you need to practice, every day.”
I also read some advice on writing. “If you want to get better, you need to practice, every day.”

And to make something a habit, do it every day. Exercise, laundry, cleaning, this journey, writing, drawing, working…

I don’t have the time to do everything I should do every day. I just don’t have the time. It’s impossible.


For me the problem isn’t that it’s impossible. All of this is a luxury problem. Then again most problems could be viewed as luxury problems.

It’s what I realized while reading this post on Courage 2 Create titled ‘When You Have Nothing Left To Lose, You Only Have Everything Left To Gain‘ yesterday.
It started me thinking, what do I really have to lose? Well a lot of things really.

But a lot of things are just luxury. Most of which I could do without, probably. I don’t want to do without, but I could.

Letting go of unnecessary things would give me more time. Time to work on this journey. So I can whine all I want about how I don’t have time to do all these “should”s every day, but apology not accepted.

I have more time than I’d like to admit, I just need to make time!

So in conclusion, I’m going to recommit to this blog. I’m going to focus on finishing a post by Sunday. This blog, and especially the journey it’s about, should be my number 2 focus (kitten comes first).
I also want to focus on doing more exercises to find my passion and logging my progress on that. So expect mini-posts here and there.

So over to you. Do you struggle with keeping what matters most on top of your priority list? How do you refocus on your most important task?

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Posted by on June 27, 2012 in Uncategorized


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A kitten in my home

Since Friday June 8th I have a kitten in my home. So obviously a lot of time has been spend with this kitten. This means there won’t be a new blog post this week. (I’m out of prewritten posts unfortunately)

My kitten has an interesting story though. When I got my kitten I was under the impression it was a female. So I named my kitten Roxy.
Last Thursday the vet confirmed it was actually a male.
So eh, he would need a new name? Well the vet said that he wouldn’t know Roxy is a girl’s name.
Haha but I do! I’m still getting used to the idea of calling my kitten a he!
So his name is now Rocky or Rox :) I mainly say Rox though.

Anyway, Rox is nice and hyperactive. A little adventurer and explorer!
Hopefully I have a new blogpost for you next week!

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Posted by on June 17, 2012 in Uncategorized


Why isn’t all this working? Look over your shoulder

A short realization. How am I suppose to work on finding my passion if I can’t keep my life in order. When I feel I’m constantly failing at this game called life.

I’m not talking about the big things here. I’m talking about all the little steps.

Reading all these amazing blogs by all those amazing people, I started to notice a pattern. Their lives where quite perfect. If I could have just their lives, I’d be perfect at finding my passion.

Because none of them are seemingly bothered by common house tasks. I know what a time suck they are!

Between cleaning, laundry, cooking, and other misc house tasks, I have barely any time left to do anything constructive. Besides that I’d rather sit down and relax.

My mother’s philosophy for the situation is, “if you just put your arms under it for an hour or two you’re done.”

Okay, so I scrubbed my house on a Sunday morning. It took about an hour and a half. Then I only had to do vacuum cleaning. I slumped down on the couch in dismay, related my achievement to my mom and didn’t get up again.

There’s not much magic here. Logically you don’t start with vacuuming. However vacuuming is something I dread the most, something I absolutely don’t have energy for. It simply doesn’t get done.

So I changed my strategy. I focus on 1 room, or set of small rooms. I clean and vacuum them and that’s it. Sounds good right. Doing a little every day, has one problem, it costs a little time every day. So the living room and kitchen (1 room) comes down to an hour of work.

I’m still struggling with cleaning and vacuuming, have been ever since my mom threw in the towel and told me to do it myself. (mostly because she was frustrated with my compulsive tendency to need everything back exactly the same way.)

As far as cooking goes, I generally skip that all together. It requires more time and effort than I spend eating, alone. So the things I eat are fairly simple all together. I generally eat my veggies raw so to say.
(not to mention I’m a very picky eater.)

What’s left to look at is laundry. I do laundry pretty much every day. My mom does it over the weekend.
For me this is impossible. On a time level. I have a washing and drying machine in one. Which means I can wash, or dry. Mom has two machines and can wash and dry at the same time.
I have 4 laundries: black, white + towels, color, red. On a day I do one laundry. One laundry meaning washing, drying, ironing, folding. Except for the laundry I have to hang up, as it won’t be dry. My ironing is often a day behind.
Saving my ironing and doing it all at once is not doable for me. Ironing scares the crap out of me. When I started, 4 out of the 5 tries I burned my fingers. Not the most encouraging experience. So for me ironing requires a lot of concentrating and minimum distractions. There’s only so much concentration I have.

And with all these things, fail badly. So if my life is not in order, how am I suppose to focus on finding my passion (or anything else for that matter) if I’m constantly nagged with the feeling of chores left unfinished or behind schedule.

This is why I’m scheduling and rescheduling my chores, to find a way to get around to them and to have time left for other things.

Since initially writing this post I drastically changed my strategy. I now also have a kitten to look after, so life is even more of a hassle now haha.
I’ve put my chores list together in a weekly checklist, then every day I get reminded to check off things I did that day. Whether or not I actually did anything, I’m reminded off what’s left on my plate.

I’m trying to do things more organically I suppose. See if that works out better for me.

I think if my life is in order, I can focus on my passion and write something for this blog that really has to do with this journey. I keep coming back to household chores, don’t I? I kind of have something against those.

Just need to refocus and set my priorities straight.

How do you combine household chores with doing what you love?


Posted by on June 10, 2012 in Uncategorized


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A new week, a new schedule, a new failure to add

This journey is suffering from procrastination. That’s kind of worrying.

It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that there’s life. And life has a will. A strong one.

It’s what John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you, while you’re busy making other plans.”
I know this quote, simply because my favorite Dutch comedians had a show named exactly that. I listened to the trilogy it belongs to a little too often.

That quote holds much truth though. This week I implemented a new schedule. I designed it last weekend, mostly on Sunday. It started off at Monday. Since then I’ve only been busy rescheduling around appointments I apparently had.

And at the end of everything, of chores and laundry and cooking and exercise, I’d rather just sit down and play a game. Just forgetting the world for a moment. Instead of doing what’s important.

I still have a post lined up for a part of my journey I did do, but I still need to write it and I’ve postponed that as well. Part of it is just typing out what I’ve written on paper.

Next Saturday starts my two weeks “vacation”, then I’ll be home and have a kitten running around. I fear not much gets done then either…

Because I pledged to post once a week, I’ll keep doing that. I’m sure I can come up with topics. Or I should stop procrastinating.

Oh well, as they say, on the way to success there will be failure.

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Posted by on June 3, 2012 in Uncategorized


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